Thailand Memories: Ecstasy and desperation

And then the day finally arrived. After months of waiting and what I would like to call months of extensive research and preparation, 14th october finally arrived. Million of times, I had checked the ticket to make sure 14th october is the date ;). We were traveling to Bangkok. Three of us.  Everything was going according to the plan. Cleared all the formalities at the airport. Waited to board flight. Posed some photos in front of the boeing before climbing in. Settled into our seats. When we looked at each other, there was a sense of achievement already in our eyes.

Captain of the flight announced that the flight duration will be of 3 hours and 40 minutes and we will cruise at the height of 37000 feet. Our excitement level reached way beyond that height. After some safety instructions by the flight crew and some speed gaining in the run way, we were floating into the sky. The meal there was awesome (we had forgotten to order vegetarian meal while buying ticket, and did so 3 days before the flight). In no time, more than 3 hours had already passed and captain again came up with another announcement. “We have begun our descent to Suvarnabhumi Airport”. We grew impatient. Gradually, the carefully planned urbanization of Bangkok was taking shape. In exactly the estimated time, we landed into Bangkok, the land of smiles(As the people of thailand like to call it, but we later found it out to be on the contrary. More on this later ;) ).

After clearing the arrivals formalities at the airport, collecting the baggages, exchanging thai baht for dollars, and activating travelers sim card, we were out on the streets of bangkok. No one was picking us up. We were all by ourselves. For the taste of adventure in the unknown land, we had decided not to visit in travel package where some one would pick you up, say what should you do next, what places to visit and all. We wanted to find it out by ourselves. So there we were. Outside the airport. The adventure had begun. As far as my research suggested, free airport shuttle service would take us to the Transport centre. From there we can go to any part of the city. Based on this point, we hopped into one of the bus not knowing where it would take us.

 Our plan was to depart for Phuket the same night by bus. We already had booking for the hotel in Phuket. The bus for Phuket was supposed to depart from Southern Bus Terminal. So we were supposed to go there from Transport centre. Thankfully, the airport shuttle dropped us at the Transport centre. And it didn’t charge us as well. So my research was helping us so far. But only up to the transport centre.

At the transport centre, I asked one of the guy, “Bus to Southern Bus terminal?”

“No have”, he replied. "No have" is the thai way of telling they don’t have what you are asking for.

Why?

Its already late in the evening and its 60 km far. He didn’t say that exactly but we inferred it from his broken english.

Our plan was to pay 35 baht each from there to reach the southern bus terminal. But it was failing. We hadn’t thought about what to do next and another guy appeared.

Taxi?

Ok, Taxi was not in our plan but who cares as long as we reach Southern bus terminal.

How much, I said?

1000 baht.

I was not comfortable with thai currency yet, so I converted it into NRS in my head. It was Nrs 3000. Whole lot of money.

We had to reach there anyhow to catch a bus to phuket, so we tried to negotiate the price. But he seemed non negotiable. His lack of proper english was also creating a problem. We said, we can’t pay that much amount and he went away. We were running out of options. Bina and Supun both said, we have no other option but to take a taxi. So we called that guy and again asked to lower the price a bit. But he remained adamant. We had called him this time, so he sensed our desperation. After letting him know we won’t pay 1000 baht, he suggested us a way in his broken english.

I take you to agency. Give me 600 baht. U take bus from agency.

At first, we didn’t understand what he was trying to tell. But after some effort, we decrypted his message. We thought this could be a good idea. It won’t be much problem if we buy ticket at the bus terminal or from agency. Plus agency will take care of our trip to phuket. So we accepted his deal and hopped in his taxi. It was already 6 and we were getting late. If we miss the last bus to Phuket we had no plan B for that.

After getting in taxi, we remembered we had to inform back home that we arrived safely at Bangkok. For some reason, travelers sim couldn’t connect and I left a message at facebook. After about 1 hour of drive we arrived at the agency. The people there offered us free drinking water(Free drinking water is a great deal in Thailand. You won’t find it in any hotels or restaurants). We asked them to arrange 3 bus tickets to Phuket.

Its already late for that. They told us.

It struck us like a lightening. No bus to Phuket means we won’t reach there tomorrow and we had no any arrangement to stay in Bangkok that night.

We requested them to arrange it anyhow. They told, “Ok, 1500 baht each and we’ll try.” Again, my research told it costs around 600 baht and they are asking 900 baht more. I was not prepared to pay that amount. But Bina and Supun were ready to oblige. Also, our taxi driver was advocating us from the side of agency. He had to secure his commission, I thought. With heavy heart, I made them our last offer.

1000 baht each.

A lady made a phone call somewhere. After the call, she said , “No luck. I can’t even arrange it for 1500 baht now. Bus has already departed.”

What???

We were shell shocked. Our plan crumbling into pieces. Mind unable to think what next. We came out of the agency and kept on drinking water agency had offered us. At least our taxi driver was there. In that foreign land, we had no idea where to spend that night. My other two companions suggested that we should look for a hotel. I didn’t know what to say.  After a short bout of heavy breathing, I told them lets take a risk. I had read that last bus to phuket leaves at around 9 and its about 7:15. So we will go there and check it out by ourselves. Taxi driver told that there won’t be any buses as per the agency and there are no hotels around bus terminal as well. So we have to return back to the city. But I was ready to take the risk and asked him to take us there. He agreed at another 300 baht.

We hadn’t ate anything since that wonderful meal in the flight and our stomach was craving for something like that. At around 7:50, we reached the southern bus terminal and got out of taxi.

“Can you wait for some time so that if we don’t find any bus we’ll take your taxi and return to the city?” I asked to the taxi driver.

He said,”Ok. I’ll wait for 10 minutes”.

So we carried our bags and crossed the street. As we were entering the bus terminal, the driver called us and said, “Bye, bye. There is still a bus for Phuket.” That was the sweetest thing I’ve heard in ages.

A woman approached us and said follow me. Ecstatic we, followed her like a child follows his mother.

[PS: We bought a ticket for 618 baht each and it would depart at 9:30. We got about one hour to look for food. A great sigh of relief when we boarded our bus and it started its journey to Phuket.]

And when you look back!

Nothing has changed since yesterday. Same will be for tomorrow. But when you look back, you will be amazed; for the change you feel. You will be stupefied to see how the things have changed, relationships have changed, intimacies have changed and how the people have changed. It feels as if we have come a long way and you don't find a way back. The sweetness of "hello" you felt on those days begins to lose its flavour gradually. The sight of people you have been accustomed to becomes a distant memory. Time and often you will get a reality check. Once in a while, you stumble upon new things, new people. You happen to develop an attachment with some of them. Some of them will be your addiction. You surrender. You let it out. You confess your inner thing without thinking its outcome. You don't care a bit. And that will be the moment, you lose yourself. Your attachment rules over you. If they are people, they will take you for granted. The respect you get in return will be indirectly proportional to the degree of value you place over them. If they are things, its even more hazardous. They destroy you. In both cases, you will be penalized. For surrendering. For melting.

And when you notice the changes that have happened, you try to resist the change. You want some things to be the same as they used to be. And you suffer. You always think what did you do inappropriately but you don't see the mistakes you have committed already. There used to be some people you thought you could annoy as much as you want. Not because, you take them for granted. Because, you connected with them so well. The stubbornness you used to show, the irritation you used to give were the proof for the fitting connection. Proof for the inner self. You think they should savour the annoyance as it resembles an intimacy. And then you know, its working other way around. You are being self-centered. You will be devastated to know that. You shall be careful while talking with people you used to chatter so fondly. Why? Well, you surrendered. You ask about their well being. They don't. They just reply. And you keep on wondering have they been promoted to a different stratosphere! You were resisting the change.

You were piling up your mistakes. First you surrendered and then you tried to resist the change. Because you were still a child. Slowly but surely, you will learn some things change just for the sake of change. Not because its required. And then you let it go. Slowly but surely, you grow up. You hold no hard feelings. You don't change. Everything will be same within you. You just accept the change. You just flow with it. Its growing up. You don't complain. You don't blame anyone. You realize these all are natural. You will be more graceful. But on the way, you learn some lesson. Never melt. It means you are deifying others. It means you're devaluing yourself. Now, you can look back. And when you look back, only thing you do is smile.        

झिलिमिली तिहार। अध्यारो मन ।।

बाहिर निस्केर एसो हेर्छु, शहर धपक्क बल्नै लागेको थियो। कतै झिपिक झिपिक बल्दै निभ्दै गर्ने बत्ती त कतै लहरै राखिएको एलेक्ट्रिक दियोले सधैं अध्यारोमा निदाउने शहरलाई बेहुलीझै निखार्दै थिए। तिहारको बेलामा झिलिमिली बत्ती नबाल्न विध्युत प्राधिकरणले जारी गरेको उर्दी सँग बेपर्वाह थियो काठमाडौं उपत्यका। घर को वरन्डाबाट यसो नियाल्छु, पल्लो घरको भाई बत्ती फिट गर्न लागिपरेको थियो। लगभग सबैको घर उज्यालोमा चम्किरहदा आफ्नो घरमा बत्ती बाल्न ढिलो हुदां पर्ने पिर म प्रस्ट देख्थेँ उसको काम गराइबाट। अर्को घरमा चेलीबेटीहरु ब्यस्त थिए लक्ष्मी पूजा गर्न, कोही लक्ष्मी को पाइला बनाउदै थिए त कोही दियो सल्काउँदै। छोरो चैँ सिँगारिएको घरलाई क्यमेरामा कैद गर्न ब्यस्त थियो । मलाई देखेर फिस्स हास्योँ र लाग्यो आफ्नै काममा, मानौँ लक्ष्मी माता ले आदेश दिएकी छिन "यती वटा फोटो खिच नत्र प्रबेश गर्दिन" भनेर।  

हरेक जसो तिहारमा यो बेला म पनि यस्तै कुनै काम गरिरहेको हुन्थेँ। शायद मैले फिट गरेका बत्ती हरु कतै बल्न छाडेका त छैनन भनेर घर ओरिपरी घुम्दै हुन्थेँ होला। चाइनिज बत्तीको भर कत्ती पनि थिएन। यस्पाली म वरन्डाबाट नियालिरहेको छु, अरुको घरमा छाएको उज्यालो बाट आफ्नो मन बाल्न प्रयास गर्दै छु। अहँ यि प्रयास हरु निरर्थक शाबित हुँदै छन। यो तिहारमा मेरो मन अध्यारो छ। र यि सारा उज्यालो को रौनक म भित्र पस्न सकेका छैनन। 

हाम्रो हजुरआमाले अठासी वर्षको उमेरमा यो संसारबाट बिदा मागेको छैठौँ दिन म यि सब कृयाकलाप हेरिरकेहो छु। ममिबुवाहरु हजुर आमाको खबर आउने बित्तिकै गाउँ गैसक्नु भएको थियो। अहिले उतै कुनै अध्यारो कोठामा बसेर हजुरआमालाई सम्झिदै हुनुहोला, आँशु लाई साक्षी राखेर शायद। यहाँ म र मेरो दिदी थियौँ। दिदी पनि इविनिङ ड्युटी पूरा गर्न हस्पिटल गएकी छे। तसर्थ घरमा म एक्लो छु, अरुको घरको तिहार हेर्दै छु, सोच्दै छु ओहो यो पाली हाम्रो घरमा तिहार आएन।

घरमा एक्लै भएको कारण बेलुकाको खाना बनाउने जिम्मा मेरै छ। अरु लक्ष्मी लाई आफ्नो घरमा प्रवेश गराउन ढोका खोलेर कुरिरहेका छन, म चाँही सब्जी किन्नु पर्‍यो भनी ढोका ढ्याम्म लाएर बाहिर निस्किन्छु। थाहा छैन किन यसपाली मलाई लक्ष्मी को प्रबेश सँग कुनै सरोकार छैन।  सोच्छु अहो, सबै कुरा यो मन नै त रहेछ। बाहिर झिलिमिली चम्केको शहर, भित्र अध्यारो मन । तैपनी यै मन ले जितिरहेको छ। आफ्नो मनको सानो अध्यारो झिल्काले बाहिरी संसारलाई सिङै निलेको छ। बाहिरी कुरा त सबै शाबिक को जस्तै छ, पटकाको आवाज, बत्तिको झिलिमिली, देउसिरे र भैलिनी राम को उही गीत, सबै उस्तै छ। तर यि सब कुराले मेरो मन भित्र तिहार आएन। अहँ पटक्कै आएन।

Comes a day

Against all this uncertainty, comes a day
which carries the fragrances of yesterday
the sweetness of moments we cherished,
the faded memory of how i waited for you
desperately, longingly and downheartedly


And as the day happens
we would have left nothing to share about
the lips of ours betraying us
the prevailing vacancy scaring us
we can only breathe a long sigh
and let it reflect into the eyes

Against all this uncertainty, comes a day!!!

Professional way of marrying

[(Although this article is especially for girls, but men can find it equally useful if they place Mr. in place of Ms. and vice versa :D)

This is an excerpt from one of the article on quora.com. Reference to full article is given at the end.]

Why do you want to get married?
Why do you want to get married? Because your friends are getting married? Because society has bamboozled you to think you should be married by now?  These reasons have nothing to do with the man you’re marrying, and they bode for an unhappy future, a future where you’ll be only half alive. Without room in this relationship for the essential you, you will be lonely forever. And so will he.
So, forget about the fantasy of marriage and let’s get real.
Love is not enough
Love is only the starting point for a successful marriage. That’s because marriage is nothing like dating. Marriage is like a very mundane small business in which you are co-partners and co-employees. This actually can be really really nice, if you hitch yourself to the right partner. For the company to succeed, you and he must agree on the direction of your company and the values by which it will run. You must believe in each other completely and trust in each other’s good judgment. You must figure out how your company will make money and how to spend it. You must identify what tasks must be done and who will do what. Unlike in any other small business, however, you both must commit to being co-owners and co-employees in this company for the rest of your days on Earth.
Take a headhunting approach to finding Mr. Right
Don’t marry the first guy you date. How could you know it’s love when you have nothing to compare it to? Take a headhunting approach to finding your soul mate. For any given search assignment, my firm reviews hundreds of candidates. Once, to find the CFO of a Fortune 500 company, we spoke with over 1,000 people! If you worked as a headhunter in my firm, and I assigned you a search, and you limited your entire universe of candidates to just two or three, I’d fire you.
Do not slack off on your search for Mr. Right. This is the most important search of your life, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that the only thing at stake is your future.
When you kick off a new search, Step One is defining your ideal candidate. Do not lower your standards, but do make sure your standards are sound. Ask a guy what he’s looking for in a woman and he’ll say two things: good-looking and nice. Ask a woman what she’s looking for in a guy and she’ll say two hundred things:
•  Rich but generous
•   Knows how to treat a woman well
•   Knows how to order a bottle of wine in a restaurant, and what to do when the wine comes to the table
•   Wears Italian suits but is not gay
… and on and on. Ladies, please. If you were my client, I’d make you sort these qualities into two columns: “Must Have” and “Nice to Have.”  Your “Must Have” column should include only those things that are truly important, like  “makes me a better person when I am with him,” “makes my heart sing,” “shares my values,” “wants what I want in life.” and “financially stable.”  Move everything else over to your “Nice to Have” column.
Next step in your search is to identify, interview and evaluate a multitude of candidates. Falling in and out of love with different people is important to helping you better understand what you don’t want in a relationship as well as what you do want. Aren’t you curious about men? This is your only chance in life to have a range of romantic and sexual experiences, so get out there and have some fun.

Full article can be read here:
http://www.quora.com/Amit-Chaudhary-6/Posts/Do-not-marry-before-age-30

In Quest of a new pair of shoes

Few years back, I was badly in need of a pair of shoes for myself. I don't have an account of what happened to my old shoe. It was stolen, perhaps. But I never planned of having them any time soon as a pair of slippers was doing all fine to my feet. One day, I was roaming around and fortunately, or say it unfortunately, I happened to pass through a shoe show room.There were hundreds of shoes gazing at me desperately from the show case. Unconsciously, one pair of shoes drew my attention. I could not neglect it and thought of having it a look.
I went inside the showroom and asked the owner for that shoes. I was so amazed at the charm of that shoe, "aesthetic", I pronounced out of nowhere. And regretted almost a second after. I looked at the owner's face to find that he was throwing a proud smile as if he himself designed the shoe. However, I could not remain without quoting the line "Less is more" inside my head. There was nothing much to aid the design of the shoe yet it was looking so nice, to say the least. I began investigating the shoe from every possible directions. I could see the marks of others persons'desire on that shoe.

I asked,"Many customers on it,huh?"

"Yeah, it's a latest trend in market",he responded.

 Soon, I found out that it was too expensive, way above my budget. But my heart was so onto it. I tried it to discover it doesn't fit me either. It was one size smaller than I required. I asked for my size, only to fall more in despair. I thought, I could adjust it and I will get habitual eventually. So I bargained with the owner and owned it at the cost of what was three times my budget.

I had to bend my toes while wearing my new shoe. I tried to adjust with what can never be adjusted. It was so painful that I developed a wound few days after. But the shoe looked more prettier despite the hardships. I kept on wearing it no matter what. I cannot believe on my fondness to that shoe.One day came, when I decided to abandon my shoe. It was still new and charming but I just didn't want any more "toe-bending".

Hence, I again needed new shoe. Despite the need, I was not thinking more about it. I was back on my old slipper one more time. I didn't worry what other said about my old slipper as it was serving one hell of my purpose without "toe-bending". Then came my birthday and with it came a brand new pair of shoe as a birthday gift. I was so delighted as my need was fulfilled. I tried the new shoe and this time it was one size larger than what needed. I cursed my luck but couldn't deny the gift. So I decided to take it.

For some days, I wore the new shoe. I walked slowly and carefully so that my feet won't come out off shoe in the middle of street. I was not getting hurt as before but my speed was definitely slowed down considerably. In meantime, i even got the idea of stuffing some cloth piece inside the shoe to make it tighter. I could have done that and could have clanged with that shoe.But this time, I didn't want to compromise with my comfort.

तिमी

लठ्याएर हराउने, शकुनीको झेल हौ तिमी
दोशी बनाइ आफुभित्र मलाई थुन्ने जेल हौ तिमी

मध्यरातमा शितल फ्याक्न उदाएकी चन्द्रमा
सुन माथि सुगन्धको उदेकलाग्दो मेल हौ तिमी

हिउद को झरी मा मुटु छेड्ने तीर पनि
भावनामा बगाएर आशु दिने भेल हौ तिमी

आज आउछौ, भोली जान्छौ, अस्थिर त्यो तिम्रो चाल
प्रेमदिवशमा जन्मिएकी, कल्पना को खेल हौ तिमी